"As it Was"

 Almost 6 years later and I'm still saying to myself, "After this test I'll be able to put cancer out of my mind", "After this doctor visit... after I get this pain checked...". Right now I'm waiting for the results of my most current MRI. I had one on my neck because of some numbness in my hands when I'm laying down and today I had to have on my back, middle and lower because of some out of the blue back pain. I had my first colonoscopy and it came back clear as clear can be. No polyps or anything. I expected a free and clear but shortly after I started having back pain that didn't come from an injury or anything. So... now I wait for more results and I keep busy and try to not worry. It's interesting how you keep thinking, "I wonder if it will come back?" and it either does or it doesn't. 

 I do know that when I'm stressed out it's worse. It's all worse, the IBS, the back pain, the racing heart, the blood pressure. The past few decades, I mean days have been stressful. 

What do you do to relax when you're stressed? I have been doing Peloton mediations before bed and then taking a few minutes to just lay down and relax my body from head to toe and I feel like it really helped get me through this MRI today. 

Also, put on music. Harry Styles came out with a new song today and we have had it on repeat today and it for sure helps me feel more relaxed and just happy! 

Till next time,

 Tonya

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