Hope Moves Mountains

For those cancer survivors out there, did you ever feel like there was a moment when your "Cancer Card" expired? At first thought it sounds like it would be a good thing. Oh, my cancer card expired, I'm back to being one of the "normal" people. You'd never know I had cancer and went thru hell because my hair has grown back, I've gained back the weight I lost during all that chemo and those 5 surgeries. But for me, there were those people who were only nice to me because I "was the one who had cancer' The mean people at work or at the kids school who were mean to everyone but for some reason were not mean to me. I found out it was because I was the "one who had cancer' and if they were mean to me it would make them look like the assholes they really were. I don't use that word often or lightly.  So, about midnight last night I guess my "cancer card" expired because the jerk at work decided to target me about that time. I d

Today I got to take over Stand Up 2 Cancers Instagram Story page. It was really great getting to tell my story and partner with not only Stand Up 2 Cancer but with Beautycounter as well. They are working together this month to raise money for Stand Up 2 Cancer. I am so excited to be able to tell my story and add another experience to my story. I hope someone gets to see it and feel inspired because I really believe that Hope Moves Mountains. You can donate to SU2C by going to my www.CrowdRise.com/tonyapeat page. You can also order Beautycounter products thru my web site and select my "Social On A Mission" and a % of the sales will be donated to Stand Up 2 Cancer.

This time 2 years ago I was gearing up for my birthday and also my 3rd and biggest surgery. The “Lat flap” surgery that took 8 hours and had me in 3 or 4 different positions on the operating table. It involved taking skin and muscle from my back and nerves still in tact moving it around to the front to make a patch so I would have enough room to put in an expander and later an implant. When they did my mascetomy the mass was bigger than they thought and there wasn't enough room to put the expander for reconstruction. I had one expander on the right and flat on the left for 7 months. It is amazing what you can get used to as your new normal. I had a little pillow that I put in the left side when I went out but at home I wouldn't use it. I have photos where you can see the difference. I wanted to have some photos of what was real. The reality was that I lived with just one breast for 7 months. I never felt like a part of me had been "amputated" I saw it as the surgeon h

It was my first check up with my oncologist after I had finished chemo. I sat in the waiting room waiting my turn. I was sitting next to this woman with spiral blond hair. We struck up a conversation, she said she was sorry to tell me but she was there because her cancer had come back. We talked for a while and she told me about a group that she had founded called Mommys with Cancer. I had seen the flyer, I had even saved it in the file on my desk but hadn't had the courage to call and come to a meeting. It was a sign. After talking to her I attended the next meeting and have been going to the group ever since. This support group has meant so much to me. There is nothing like being able to talk about what is going on with your body than with someone who is or has gone thru the same thing. The emotional toll it all takes is unlike anything you will ever go thru. Being able to sit at the table with all these amazing women, some who have been cancer free for years and some who are jus

This is a continuation of my last post in that it talks about embracing your community. My first visit with my "Team" at UCLA was like running a marathon. We arrived at the hospital at 7 AM to see my surgical oncologist. I had researched her in advance and knew she was the Director of the Revlon Breast Center and she was a "world-renouned surgical oncologist"  words I made sure to use when telling my parents I had breast cancer hoping to ease their worry. I also met with my reconstructive surgeon who would turn out to be a great person and not just an amazing surgeon. I remember sitting in the room after he left thinking "He doesn't have to be my best friend, he just has to do a good job." The first visit with him I felt like a deer in the head lights and apparently my left headlight was a lot bigger than my right because he asked me "Has your left breast always been that much bigger than the left, or is the tumor?" Me: "Um... it's b

You look at photos of before the mountain was even there. 3 years ago today I had a beautiful 8 week old baby girl. She was our most wonderful surprise. We had to try for a long time with each of our older girls but this one was an amazing gift we weren't expecting. Our "Bonus Baby" as we started to call her. I look at this photo and I can feel the feelings I was having at this time. I was overwhelmed by suddenly being a #momofthree of course but in these moments when it was just me and her things were sweet and simple. Shortly after this is when the random pains begun in my left breast. I just thought it was an inflamed milk duct so I worked thru the little electric shocks I would get here and there. Being a 3rd time mom doesn't make you an expert by any means. It's different every time. The one thing that is different is that you have even less time to worry about yourself and some little pain that just comes and goes with no rhyme or reason. Eventually when t